Inexactitude

If I wrote for a living, I would've been dead by now.

Today, it rained outside my workplace. It usually rains frequently where I live. By the bay of the Gulf of Mexico. But today,the rain was accompanied by beautiful, shimmering and bright, late-afternoon sun. I could feel the earth's warmth rising slowly from my feet till my chest and then till my chin and when the warmth reached my nostrils, it brought with it, a special fragrance. A fragrance that reminds you at the corners of your mind, that this was where you came from and this was where you would eventually be laid, the soil. Your toys, your paper pride called money and your vanity. They all would eventually turn into dust. This reckoning is a great reality check. Sticks your feet to the ground. And all of it, very subconsciously. Like the fucking secret agencies change the course of the world without letting the world know.



And then I traveled to do a personal chore from one city to an other with a friend of mine. I got on the freeway that connected both these cities. Distantly, I saw a grey curtain spread over half of the sky with the evening sun in the backdrop. Then I wondered, sitting in that car and gazing through that sunroof, "What the fuck am I doing here?". Then I kinda left that sudden usher of a fast train of thought, to be mulled upon later.

Right now, I am at the point of time called later. Sitting in a rocky chair and sipping some scotch and listening to "Sympathy for the devil". I am thinking, how did I ever get here? What should I have ever been? I am almost 25 and I don't remember much of my life to have been spectacular or mind blowing. Could I have chosen another field and excelled in it? How would that have been? Better or worse? Is it right that I am drinking and writing? Rather than just writing.

Many a times, men and women are compelled to do things they'd rather not do. Hormonal effects, drug side affects or whatever minuscule/magnanimous reasons/excuses they have had for loosing their usual self and slipping into profane acts are normally portrayed to you or whoever throws a listening ear. Why do we do that?

I sometimes think I ask too many questions. I think that I think it intrigues my readers to read a lot of questions. But it is a bad practice. I am less of a story teller and more of a question-thrower. Maybe I would've been a great investigative journo or I would've been a great Quiz show hos. And if someone like me would've been born a 1000 years ago, then apart from being a fossil buried some 6ft down in the earth, I would've been a great philosopher.

I feel like my nascent writing days coming back to me all over again. I used to jot down whatever came to my mind and I used to post it. After a couple of months when I would go back to read what I had written, I used to feel really awkward reading it. I think this post is not going to be any dissimilar from those posts. But I think all writing is good writing. Whatever you write is ok. I mean why not?

Let us think for a moment that you went swimming. How long do you think you can hold you breath? Maybe 2 minutes at tops. Then you swim a couple of laps and do some backstrokes and try to open your eyes in the pool and see what is in there. You come out of the pool, dry all the water on you, rub the towel under your arms profusely like all other Indians and fat people who sweat a lot and then you come take a shower or whatever and then take a fresh towel and rub profusely again under your arms and change your clothes and undergarments or you go commando. Then you sit back and relax on your couch while your instant food is microwaving and then you feel a tad bit different. You know why? Because you were in a different medium altogether for sometime than the medium you are in right now. Humans evolved from weird sea creatures but we are not so in touch with the medium of water anymore. We 'moved on' So much that there are lot of people who die because they do not know how to swim.

Writing is like that. It is a form of communication too but only, in a different method. A different "medium" if I may say. Just as swimming is good for your health, writing too, is good for your communication. Some people make a lot of money by swimming well and swimming in Olympics and shit and then a lot of people write and make money. See, they both are very similar. Aren't they?

Perspective is a good word. I would define the world with just that one word. Christians look at the world in the perspective of God creating the world in 6 days. Biologists, look at the same world and think we evolved from apes. Scientology preaches that an Alien created this earth. The little farm kid, helping his soon to commit suicide father in his drought struck paddy field by drinking a bottle of pesticide, doesn't give a shit about how this world was created but where is his family is going to get his next meal from.

Making your perspective, the perspective of the world is maybe the most ambitious task there could ever be. Maybe unattainable. Human beings do not realize this. And even if they do realize it, it is not quite easy to settle with it for our race. That is why we want to build a small domain where we can force our perspective on the entirety of that small domain. Thereby, satiating our human needs. Atleast just a little bit. And maybe this is how each religion was formed.


Oh wait, but this is just my perspective.


Thanks.