Shredded Cilantro and diluted yogurt

It is really very safe to say that my lame, dim-witted updates on social networks have disabled my ability to vent out my anger on my blog at large. And then there are those reports that the governments of some countries monitor your blogs and feeds I don't know for what weird reasons. Not to forget the desperate recruiters googling you up before/after they conduct your interview.

Fuck that. I am writing.

When me and Lapaki used to meet at bus stops in and around Mehdipatnam, we used to act like we didn't know each other. Don't ask me why. Apart from frigidly avoiding to look at his leaking nose or the dripping oil from his head, I hated the fact he ignored me right back. We all remember our tween years don't we? Well, I do. It was a really awkward period of life for me. If you hung out with Lapaki at bus stops in Mehdipatnam, you'd know what exactly I am talking about. But we shared similar interests. Like our love for Mustangs, Enfields and Emma Watson. You can't say no to a guy who comes talking to you about his dream of Emma Watson. And then we jammed to Roxanne in our living room watching VH1 while my parents were at work.


We screamed together,"PUT ON THE RED LIGHT! PUT ON THE RED LIGHT"

Although we both meant it in a completely different way.

We all are at some point in our lives, embarrassed of our friends. I for one, have only been embarrassed of Lapaki. He setup a standard of embarrassing me that none of the people I made friends with after that, have ever been remotely close to. And that is not a rhetoric. I will give you an example of what happened on a Saturday evening, while we were walking back from the bus stop to our homes. He saw a blind beggar near the signal post begging for money. He threw so much weight in his description of how blind beggars are ignored compared to other socially/physically challenged people and he said he always did his part for them. So boasting of his generosity, and completely ignoring the on coming vehicles at the busy Mehdipatnam signal post, he tried to put 25 paise into a blind beggar's palm when a speeding scooter cut through right in front of a passenger filled bus and the bus driver honked like it was the fucking apocalypse. Which ended up scaring Lapaki so badly out of his guts that he clenched his fists in the old man's open palm which already had some coins in it from earlier donors and scooped a fistful of coins out of it in an involuntary act and stumbled onto a nearby pavement.

The shock filled blind man, raised his voice in a hurried, siren like noise and started cursing and yelling in a language that my ancestors wouldn't recognize and the dumb person that Lapaki is, wouldn't go back and apologize, instead he starts running like the fucking Scotland Yard was chasing him. I am bewildered and am observing all this from a little distance. A bystander looks at Lapaki running away and turns back at me with this disgusting look that I would never, ever forget in my life! I excuse myself and act like I never have seen such a heinous crime myself and walk away from there.

Raging in anger, I am prepared to scream my fucking lungs out at Lapaki when I see him for leaving me in a situation like that. Making me feel like a complete criminal in front of strangers. I listen to some death metal songs and growl some pain away but still can't digest what had happened to me earlier that day. So I text Lapaki to meet up at our regular spot, Moon Rock cafe at Tolichowki.

I wait for him there while he roughly drives into the parking lot on his weathered Scooty and and comes into the cafe whistling like nothing ever happened. He seats himself and orders two tea. Still whistling and looking around the cafe. Then he turns his head towards me and notices me staring at him. He says, "Kya hua yaaron?". Normally, I would beat the shit out of him, but all that death metal jamming sobered me down and I just said, "Kuch nai re by.. accha parsoom Emma Watson neend me aayi, wohi khoobsurat chehra..."


That evening I realised, that there issues could stay issues and eat a little bit of you every moment or you could trivial them off like how Lapaki did. And not let them take control of you, instead you take control of them. Easier said than done but we all need to be reminded of these everyday fortune cookie moral lessons. It sobers us all down.