A mind that invaginates at the thought of thought

I have a pen and it has a mind of its own. It spends sleepless nights under moonlit skies wondering what it can generate. It thinks of writing a ballad, a sonnet, a novella or even a long email to someone on the other side of the world. But then it just settles for a blog post. It wants to paint another Mona Lisa but then settles just for making yet another cheap replica. I don't know why it does that. It is very annoying at times to sit with it and not get any results for very long. Why I really enjoy its company though is because when I confess to it with all my sins and all my actions, it jots down a beautiful letter filled with my idiosyncrasies and I take pleasure in reading that letter. I look at my own self with a sense of misplaced satisfaction in that letter. I like my pen that has a mind of its own. Because it takes me through hard times. It takes my despair and converts it into a comic to please me out of it. So what if it paints a cheap replica of Mona Lisa with its words? Not everyone is Davinci.

But there are times when I want my pen to do more than that. I want it to go beyond its limits. I want it to write stuff I haven't seen with my own eyes. I want it to compose a story that I haven't ever been a part of. Can it do so? I have my hopes pinned to it very badly. What do you think? Can it?

To tread the lands of unknown souls is very new to my pen. How do I ask it to go there when I myself haven't been there? Is it possible to create worlds unknown to me when I myself am incapable of doing so with the power of my imagination?

When you look into the history of literature of this world, you will find many stories and legends filled with the ideas of alternative versions of our actual human history that would shock Darwin out of his wits (assuming that all he ever knew was that the earth was created in 6 days and Adam and Eve just materialized into the garden of Eden). Right from the great Greek mythologies to present day series of Harry Potter.


"If you peep into it" my pen says, "you will see that all the alternatve versions of this world contain a common theme."

"What is it?", I ask.

"There is good which is often represented by strong characters like Gandalf the great, Albus Dumbledore always ready to sacrifice their lives for the benefit of a 'greater good' and also are good at taking others lives but know when/why to take them. Then there is evil , which also, has really strong character(s) representing it like Sauron and Voldemort. In the end, the good reigns over the evil and the story/legend/mythology ends."

I think about it and my pen seems right. Good, evil, love and triumph. It is easy to make a story with this formula. Just put new characters in the right spots and map out a plot, add some spicy details and that's it. You have a story. But not all stories pass off as great stories. It should come out at the right time in the right place. J.R.R.Tolkein's LOTR has a lot of history behind it. Wiki it out and you'll know that its occurrence was totally uncalled for but greatly welcomed. Imagine, when this world was passing through the worst phases ever, the II World War, Tolkein had come up with a fantasy like never before. I don't know if it gave hope to anyone. I personally think it shouldn't have given hope to anyone in particular. Why? Because there was no right or no wrong in that war. Japan, although looks like a skinny piece of land on the east, was actually raping the Chinese women by the dozens of hundres IN CHINA and killing its men and children. China never recuperated from these attacks and it eventually became on of the most uptight countries. Japan attacked America and poor America was devastated. It went over and nuked the shit out of the Japanese. The nuke attack was so bad that Japan still hasn't recovered from those attacks. Germany Blitzkrieg-ed the shit out of UK and UK broke Germany's spine later. Poland was attacked by Germany from one side and Russia from the other. America got annoyed by Russia and later started cold wars with it. Fucking Britain broke India and Pakistan up and there has never been even a moment of peace between them since then. So it is not the question of who won the war but who is good and who is evil. You can argue that America, Britain, France and China were just defending themselves. But every country had its own interests in this war. The world was in a huge confusion and even till today no average minded person knows which country is good and which is evil. Reality is so far from the fantasy worlds of great writers.

I hail their imagination, these writers'. The grey matter in their brain must be invaginating into itself all the time and expanding and making new space for more grey matter to form which later invaginates into itself and the process continues. I have hardest time figuring out the names half of my undergrad classmates. I supposedly refrigerated a box filled with turmeric powder and also left keys in there many times. Who am I kidding? I can't even write a good story about that time when Lapaki was picking his nose in front of the kids at Sphoorti and all the kids started imitating him.




My pen is not so talented itself. My pen even has a hard time getting its grammar correct half the fucking time and don't even get me started on the vocab. My pen is too raw for now to create great, captivating and wonderful new worlds that don't exist. My pen is too in-your-face and very frank. So frank, you would be afraid to ask its opinion if you knew it well.

But my pen thinks I am a writer. It urges me sometimes to write about freedom. Liberty as the west likes to call it. I just might write about freedom. Man understands the importance of freedom like no other creature in this world. Freedom is one thing even an infant bounded by his crib understands. I think it is easy to write about freedom and get away with it. I am not a guy who would take the road less traveled. Because the road that's less traveled these days is usually the road which use for nature calls. It would take great motivation for me to take a road like that and it has nothing to do with freedom.

See, I like my pen with a mind of its own for that. I love it for that. It makes me want to communicate so much more than my fancy iPhone or my landline at work. Pens are good. Pens are strong. Use them properly. (Note to self)